What if the problem is that you don’t know how you feel . . . so you block out emotions with distractions: eating too much, drinking too much, excessive screen time.
The problem is that you don’t know how you feel . . . so you block out emotions with distractions: eating too much, drinking too much, excessive screen time.
The issue isn’t that you’ve become an addict. The issue is that you’re ignoring emotional energy.
In this episode we are looking at: When You Ignore the Call for Change
- Recognising change patterns
- What happens when you ignore the call for change
- The signs to look out for
Please do your best to watch/listen to each part in order.
How do you recognise "change patterns?
Think of these patterns as emotions. Emotions are energy pushing up for expression and they signify change is necessary.
Emotions are a way for your unconscious to indicate a change in direction, so change patterns will show themselves in, amongst other things, your relationships with other people.
Where you want other people to change, it’s a fair bet that the change isn’t about them. Why? Because if it were about them you wouldn’t want them to change! You would accept them as they are or leave that dynamic, saying, “It’s not for me.” You stay because it’s a way to distract yourself from your own internal conflict.
So what happens when you ignore the call for change?
Neuroscience says the more emotions and conflicts you have, the more anxiety you keep.
This impacts the messages through the vegus nerve. This is the emotional centre of the body, which responds to emotions triggered in your mid-brain. It then sends signals to your heart, lungs and intestines.
So when you ignore the call for change, your emotions turn into stomach troubles and breathless panic.
So what are the signs to look out for that change wants to happen?
One of the key signs is rigid and repetitive thinking. If a thought is on a constant loop in your head, it means your emotions want you to make a change.
Another key sign is constantly avoiding conflict, to the point you’d rather sweep it all away - your emotions want a change!
Your unconscious will keep throwing life-changing situations at you until you take up the call.
On the Enlightenment journey, for instance, the first call is through change (even intense change) trying to happen, or you becoming irresistibly drawn towards it. You find yourself becoming desperate for something to be different.
The key is to start noticing rather than ignoring the signs.
What I found I got sucked into for a long time was ignoring what wanted to change, for fear of upsetting other people.
You end up hoping the people round you will miraculously want the change that you want.
But the truth is that you just end up waiting impatiently. That doesn’t work, because you just become resentful.
So what are three little things you can do to stop ignoring the call for change?
- Listen to your inner conflict. You spend so much time trying to avoid it that you don’t know what it’s actually trying to say. You never know… it might be saying something very helpful.
- Notice if the story your mind tells you seems old. If your mind tells you change isn’t possible, see how old the ‘story’ is. Does it relate to now? Or to the past?
- Recognise that criticism, fear and doubt are a normal stream of emotions. They are simply the mind trying to anticipate and solve problems. Burying them for the fear of change is therefore unnecessary.
It will take a few goes– BUT… you will feel you can move on from ignoring the call for change.
Remember it’s not about perfect - it's about PROGRESS.