What if the problem is you’re great in a crisis, but are rarely thanked for your efforts? So you get to be the person who is relied upon, but then simply discarded.
What if the problem is you’re great in a crisis, but are rarely thanked for your efforts?
So you get to be the person who is relied upon, but then simply discarded.
You end up wondering what exactly happened? (And why you’re not paid enough!)
The issue isn’t that you’re invisible. The issue is you have unconscious crisis values making your decisions.
In this episode we are looking at How to Discover Your Values Beyond a Crisis.
- What your crisis values are
- The path away from crisis
- The route to your values even if you feel invisible.
Please do your best to listen to each episode in order as they are released weekly.
First of all, let’s look at what your crisis values are?
Your crisis values are set by your nervous system.
As an Intuitive-Sensitive your nervous system is already very awake. This means your sympathetic nervous system is always set for action. It doesn’t have to be ramped up or inspired: it’s constantly ready to freeze, to take flight, or to fight.
And because your system is permanently in a state of heightened awareness, a crisis comes almost as a relief. It gives you somewhere to place all that pent-up energy.
Which is why you’re often the calmest person there when a crisis hits.
The issue is that because your system is always fired up, even when nothing needs taking care of, you build up a fatigue cycle. And as that suggests - it’s exhausting.
So what’s the path away from crisis?
The path away from crisis is to realise that you still have value, even when you’re not solving a major problem.
You don’t always have to be taking care of someone else’s needs in order to be of value. You are allowed to accept peace into your life.
So what is the route to your values?
The key is to accept you are allowed to receive values for yourself from other people. Values such as dependability, reliability, consistency and honesty.
What I found I got sucked into for a long time was believing that adhering to other people’s values was the only route allowed to me. I would be loyal, dependable, reliable, consistent and honest . . . And yet others didn’t seem to have to return these values towards me.
You end up with misplaced loyalty and accepting bad behaviour as normal. It doesn’t work, because you just constantly get caught up in other people’s drama.
So what are three little things you can do to discover your values beyond a crisis?
- Choose your battles. Help those who want to help themselves. Being a great friend in a crisis to someone who wants to receive your help enhances connection and emotional intimacy.
- Accept the limitations of “fair weather” friends. Those people who contact you when they have a crisis, or need help, but not at any other time? Accept that’s their limitation - and never expect the favour to be returned.
- Let your body rest. When you let your body rest you allow yourself to restore enough to let go of ‘cortisol fatigue’ (built up in the times when you are high on stress).
It will take a few goes – but you will start to feel you can discover your values beyond a crisis.
Remember it’s not about perfect - it's about PROGRESS