How do you recognise what it is in life you’re SUPPOSED to do? You’ve tried many things. You’ve tried to please many people. But you’re still searching because you’ve not discovered your fit.
The problem is our role in life is determined by your unconscious male life associated with security. The issue is you feel locked into a life based on what's safe rather than what inspires you. The solution is to know what the role is so you can choose your own path.
During this 30 minute session you will learn:
- The Role You Were Given
- Why You Reject Your Role
- When to Give Up
Please do your best to watch/listen to each part in order.
How do you recognise what it is in life you’re SUPPOSED to do?
You’ve tried many things. You’ve tried to please many people. But you’re still searching because you’ve not discovered your fit.
The question is:
Why is it so hard to KNOW what you’re supposed to do in life?
In this episode we are resolving:
What’s My Role?
- The role you were given
- Why you reject your role
- When to give it up.
First you need to recognise what a role actually is.
A role is a mode of behaviour to which you are expected to adhere throughout your life.
A role in life is assigned because it’s born of habit.
Through the generations, the female role has been determined by the male line. The rule is that you will comply, because males provide and females receive.
If males do not provide, they are judged.
If females do not want to receive what males provide, they are judged.
This judgement creates a cycle of containment – and this is NOT what you want as an ISP because
roles rob you of choice.
Role compliance isn’t for you. You rebel. You see ‘Truth’. Truth is expression outside of a role.
Yet a role was assigned to you – perhaps that of a dutiful daughter or son.
‘Role entitlement’ means someone else feels entitled to ‘own’ you, because they believe they have that right. They demand certain treatment and behaviour because of a social role rather than any earned social respect.
Some parents, for instance, do what they want because they believe they have parental exemption from respecting boundaries or being considerate. They may insist on you living out the role they feel entitled to assign you.
Why? Because they want you to behave as they wish you to.
And so you become in life the person you believe will meet their approval.
Why do you reject the role in life you’ve been given, when others comply?
You reject roles because inner development has opened your door to emotional maturity.
Emotionally mature people don’t assign roles. They have no interest in judgement or confinement. They are interested in exploration, in growth and in finding the best of who you are.
Emotionally immature people love a role because they can’t deal with complexity: they like simplicity. If you fulfil a role, they don’t have to think. They can just fit themselves and those around them into the roles they understand: assigning duty, obligation, enmeshment and - if you don’t fit their criteria – guilt.
You resist roles because of your growing emotional maturity. Emotionally immature people relate in terms of roles rather than individuality. If you don’t fill your designated role they think something is wrong with you and that you need to change.
So, when do you give roles up?
You’ll find you’re already giving roles up but didn’t know it.
It’s the reason why you’re urgently trying to find where in life you’re SUPPOSED to be.
What you’re actually saying is, “I’m in a role that doesn’t fit with me; I need to get out.”
But you’ve been surrounded with people who tell you, “What are you on about? Roles are great. Roles make you feel safe.”
So how do you get out of roles you can’t stand anymore?
The key is to accept there is nothing wrong with you.
What I got sucked into for a long time was thinking I must be a dreadful person for wanting to escape my assigned role.
You end up feeling frustrated and soulless, trying to avoid upsetting anyone.
It doesn’t work because they can’t see YOU, only you in a role.
Staying in a role that doesn’t fit is not for your own good, no matter how much someone says it is.
So what are 3 little things you can do to feel confident in stepping out of roles?
- Accept stepping out of a role doesn’t involve persuading others it’s OK to do so. They genuinely cannot see, therefore you will never have their approval.
- Accept others will try to keep you the same compliant self. There is a transition point where you feel like an outcast from your old life but you haven’t yet found your new place.
- Be proud of the fact you’re moving into enhanced emotional maturity. The more you do so, the more quickly your life opens up.