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What if you think the problem is you are overly cautious . . . and feel guilty if you’re not?
What is the problem is you are overly cautious . . . and feel guilty if you’re not.
You’re so concerned with making sure everyone else is fine that you end up feeling bored, craving more excitement.
The issue isn’t that you’re controlling life too tightly. The issue is you don’t know how to trust any other way to feel secure.
In this episode we are looking at: What Makes You Secure?
You'll discover:
Please do your best to watch/listen to each part in order.
Your struggle is trusting new environments and situations. This is because you feel guilty for going against what others want you to do.
Even if they never actually said anything, your security is tied up with what you believe others expect.
You feel what they want, or more accurately, what you think they want, and it comes before anything you would choose for yourself.
This makes you think they’re totally selfish - although you also wish you could be that carefree!
You’re compliant, going along with it - until you feel wronged. When that happens, you experience a disproportionate anger.
And then the cycle of guilt starts again. Why? Because that guilt then actually makes you feel secure. Why does the guilt make you feel secure again? Because it’s familiar.
When others promise too much.
People who do this know full well that your security is wrapped up in a cycle of pleasing others and the guilt you feel if you don’t comply.
They promise too much as a way to try and ease your guilt.
Rather than call them out straight away on their over-promise and their unreasonable expectations, you internalise their assurances as hope.
But you’re so used to promises being broken that this is just a way to affirm to yourself you’re right to be cautious and not trust anyone.
When you experience consistency you start to trust. And the key is to start by being consistent with yourself.
What I found for a long time was that I was expecting others to fuel my security - hoping they would exceed expectations but really waiting to be crushed.
It doesn’t work, because the familiarity of feeling insecure actually becomes. your security.
Three things you can do to achieve a more secure life
Remember it’s not about perfect, it's about PROGRESS.
Give the Soul Directed Relationships Meditation a go, even if you’ve never done meditation before – just follow the words.
What if you think the problem is you are overly cautious . . . and feel guilty if you’re not?
When the Orphan energy is active, you wait for the rescue that never happened, you feel lost, don’t know where you fit in, you settle for less than you want and you desperately want to go ‘home’ but you don’t know where home is.
The Orphan energy chooses you to create the ultimate rescue, the connection to the self, beyond self-abandonment and into interdependence, the safe, secure world of true self-esteem and value.
When the Lover energy is active, your soul is at odds with your careful ego. You live a life switching between conquering fear, taking risks and the excitement of your consciousness expanding, followed by flopping back into the safety of what you know.
The Lover energy chooses you to connect with your personal source of power that’s not a climb for position or authority, not a power over another but real power - the power within.
When the King energy is active, your inner world is conflicted. Each time you step into your own rules, you hear the voice of the King’s shadow – the tyrant suggesting you are less than, how you’ll never live up to expectations and the weakling ‘prince’ who doesn’t protect your new path.
The solution is to step into the energy of the true King, the matured ‘male’ energy offering centred, confident direction from deep within. The unconscious pressure to ‘fit in’ evaporates as you step into your own leadership. .
You’ve looked around, decided what you like, made judgements and now you’re going out on your own. Does what you want match with others or should you just become what you think they want?
This stage is answered through the process of Creating Your Own Values, by using your Queen Energy.
What if you think the problem is you are overly cautious . . . and feel guilty if you’re not?
What is the problem is you are overly cautious . . . and feel guilty if you’re not.
You’re so concerned with making sure everyone else is fine that you end up feeling bored, craving more excitement.
The issue isn’t that you’re controlling life too tightly. The issue is you don’t know how to trust any other way to feel secure.
In this episode we are looking at: What Makes You Secure?
You'll discover:
Please do your best to watch/listen to each part in order.
Your struggle is trusting new environments and situations. This is because you feel guilty for going against what others want you to do.
Even if they never actually said anything, your security is tied up with what you believe others expect.
You feel what they want, or more accurately, what you think they want, and it comes before anything you would choose for yourself.
This makes you think they’re totally selfish - although you also wish you could be that carefree!
You’re compliant, going along with it - until you feel wronged. When that happens, you experience a disproportionate anger.
And then the cycle of guilt starts again. Why? Because that guilt then actually makes you feel secure. Why does the guilt make you feel secure again? Because it’s familiar.
When others promise too much.
People who do this know full well that your security is wrapped up in a cycle of pleasing others and the guilt you feel if you don’t comply.
They promise too much as a way to try and ease your guilt.
Rather than call them out straight away on their over-promise and their unreasonable expectations, you internalise their assurances as hope.
But you’re so used to promises being broken that this is just a way to affirm to yourself you’re right to be cautious and not trust anyone.
When you experience consistency you start to trust. And the key is to start by being consistent with yourself.
What I found for a long time was that I was expecting others to fuel my security - hoping they would exceed expectations but really waiting to be crushed.
It doesn’t work, because the familiarity of feeling insecure actually becomes. your security.
Three things you can do to achieve a more secure life
Remember it’s not about perfect, it's about PROGRESS.
Give the Soul Directed Relationships Meditation a go, even if you’ve never done meditation before – just follow the words.
What if you think the problem is you are overly cautious . . . and feel guilty if you’re not?
When the Orphan energy is active, you wait for the rescue that never happened, you feel lost, don’t know where you fit in, you settle for less than you want and you desperately want to go ‘home’ but you don’t know where home is.
The Orphan energy chooses you to create the ultimate rescue, the connection to the self, beyond self-abandonment and into interdependence, the safe, secure world of true self-esteem and value.
When the Magician energy is active, you have the ability to transform reality. It’s as though a magnetic field draws you to experiences that match your inner reality.
The Magician energy chooses you to connect with your healing potential and give you access to the unconscious world of wonderment, charm and the deeply connected spiritual self.
When the Lover energy is active, your soul is at odds with your careful ego. You live a life switching between conquering fear, taking risks and the excitement of your consciousness expanding, followed by flopping back into the safety of what you know.
The Lover energy chooses you to connect with your personal source of power that’s not a climb for position or authority, not a power over another but real power - the power within.
When the King energy is active, your inner world is conflicted. Each time you step into your own rules, you hear the voice of the King’s shadow – the tyrant suggesting you are less than, how you’ll never live up to expectations and the weakling ‘prince’ who doesn’t protect your new path.
The solution is to step into the energy of the true King, the matured ‘male’ energy offering centred, confident direction from deep within. The unconscious pressure to ‘fit in’ evaporates as you step into your own leadership. .
You’ve looked around, decided what you like, made judgements and now you’re going out on your own. Does what you want match with others or should you just become what you think they want?
This stage is answered through the process of Creating Your Own Values, by using your Queen Energy.
