Was I too fussy?

I  couldn’t find a relationship.

I’d been in one for two and a half years before I was thirty. Ending that relationship had left me feeling hurt, but I knew it wasn’t the right relationship for me.

I wanted to be in love and have a family.

I realised this needed to be a serious trigger for healing. Surely everyone deserves a loving relationship to help them blossom?

Talking . . .

I tried talking to friends and my parents.  I didn’t really try therapy or psychotherapy - talking to my close circle seemed practical, but there was no real progress or growth – it was a safe space, rather than healing of any depth.

I felt connection and empathy was somehow missing from these conversations. I found others helped me but I was not making the breakthroughs I longed for so I tried energy healing.

. . . and listening.

I found myself listening to my intuition; I took some time off to go to the Mind Body Spirit event in London where I found Heidi’s book. I then looked online at her work and it spoke to me more than other things had done.

I took this opportunity to start looking for depth – I decided to engage and find solutions that spoke to me rather than drift and hope for the best.‍

Curious for change.

If you’re not ready to look for depth and you feel scared to look within, I think the first point of call is a therapist. It’s a way to start to get comfortable with self-awareness. I tried lots of things before I really engaged with my own healing.  

I think the key is to become curious with the idea you can change something.

Whilst you’re preparing yourself to be ready for change, try lots of things, read books, experiment with different healing models.

Heidi’s way worked for me because I came to her way of doing things when I was ready for change.

Breaking free of controlling love.

Heidi’s guidance helped me to put things in order, to step back and understand my relationships.

I began to understand that my parents were controlling me through their love for me – we were close – we are still close – but they felt their way was best, that if I did what they suggested they could keep me safe.

I realised I had to break free, to start making my own way, supported, rather than led, by them.

Happy Family!

Now my life is the way I wanted it.

I have a partner and two lovely children.

When I step back and look at it, I no longer see myself as a victim of life not working out.

Whenever I feel down or sad, I remind myself I changed my life - I am in fact empowered.

If I  hadn’t taken that decision to step into transformation, I feel certain I would still be coasting today.   I would be doing a job but not loving it.   I would not be aware of my strength and I would be stuck in ‘why me?’ thinking.

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