Recently I was talking to a friend about her life.

For years she’d wanted to ask me something but hadn’t the courage to put it into words, in case it sounded silly.

She professed to be bored with this lifetime because she felt strongly aligned to previous lifetimes where it was shorter but more happened in it. She loves her family in this life, her husband and three adult children, but she was explaining to me the feeling isn’t enough, even though for anyone looking in, she has the perfect life.

What this person is searching for is the authentic self, a connection with the part of themselves that is about an understanding of what it is to be real. Authenticity isn’t just trying to be ourselves; it requires us to know and own who we are. To be authentic is to be genuine, real, and true to oneself. It means our thoughts, feelings and behaviours align with our internal beliefs and values.

What are our internal beliefs and values? How is it possible to know what these are when for the majority of us they have been imposed upon us? To live an authentic life means eliminating the pre-programmed expectations we have grown into, the child that believes it must ‘perform’ to be loved, the adult who follows societal values rather than their own.

The journey to the authentic self requires a willingness to be vulnerable. At some point in the personal development process there comes the point, like it has done for my friend, where there is a strong inner push towards wanting something different, where the question arises: Is this it?

This is when life pushes you towards the authentic self, the overcoming of the constant bombardment of messages about who you should be, what you should be like, and how you should behave, towards wholeness, well-being, and meaningful living.

The Importance of the Authentic Self

Here’s why the authentic self is important:

1. Inner Peace: Living in alignment with our authentic selves brings a sense of inner peace and satisfaction. When our actions and words reflect our true beliefs and values, internal conflict diminishes. We feel congruent and unified in our being.

2. Better Relationships: Authenticity fosters trust. When we are genuine with others, they are more likely to trust and connect with us on a deeper level. Authentic relationships are characterized by understanding, acceptance, and mutual respect.

3. Clear Decision Making: Knowing ourselves — our desires, values, and beliefs — provides a clear framework for decision-making. When faced with choices, we can refer to our authentic selves for guidance, leading to more fulfilling outcomes.

4. Growth & Resilience: Embracing our true selves encourages personal growth. We become open to understanding our strengths, weaknesses, and areas of growth. Furthermore, when challenges arise, our authentic self provides a grounded sense of self-worth, bolstering resilience.

Finding the Authentic Self

You don’t have to search far for the authentic self, it comes to find you.

At a certain stage in your development path you start to feel the pull towards working on your past, dissolving old wounds, healing and following your dreams.

For my friend, she has started her path. The simple opening up in conversation shows she’s ready for an authentic life, her path will show through meditation and inner work, a whole richness she hasn’t seen before will reveal itself, she simply must begin.